He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
