I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
