so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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