your thong is hanging out like whoa
i was born a porn star she said
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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