"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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