doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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