Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
