Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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