I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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