Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
