The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
