You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
