Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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