Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
