She is in my trunk
where does the pee come out of this thing
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
