Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
