that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
