so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
