I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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