Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
