You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Congratulations! We have a period
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