onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
