You're so nebulous sometimes
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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