if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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