Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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