Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Couch. On fire.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
