I CAN MOONWALK!
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
