i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
