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• (757): View more from Virginia

  now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?

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• (903): View more from Texas

  I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.

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• (619): View more from California

  im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet

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• (516): View more from New York

  well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks

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• (530): View more from California

  the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.

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• (421): View more from

  your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?

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