that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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