im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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