my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
