How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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