16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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