the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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