I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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