wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
