nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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