Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
