you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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