I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
