I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize