Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
All I want is dick and wine.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
