I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
The air taste purple.
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