Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
