we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
