dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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