I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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