We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
