found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
