Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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