so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
