Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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