I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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