Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
