Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
