called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
