I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
My ass is underappreciated
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
