So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
