3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He did a backflip because drugs
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