Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
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