Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
