Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
My feet surprised me
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