i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize
