You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
