no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize
